I met this really cute guy a couple of days ago for dinner. His smile was charming, he was incredibly smart and he was very attractive.

He ran me through his life, and in parallel, I ran through my check list like a commentary stream:

I think he especially got me with the last point. I thought his story was incredible, and he appeared solid, confident with both feet on the ground. I was already calculating in my head - what was the probability of us dating?

I had no idea that it would turn out to be one of the worst dates. It was like as if each drop of alcohol gradually brought his dark side out as the night wore on. He became pushy and impatient, almost aggressive in language. In the bar, he sat next to me, lightly touching me on the waist. Why don’t you kiss me when you think about it anyways, he tested.

He also laughed at my comment to take it easy and see where this date could go and started to emotionally blackmail me: I don’t go with the flow. I don’t want to date you and in eight months find out it wasn’t worth it. I don’t waste my time.

He made me feel bad and guilty, as if I said something wrong or did something bad. Quite an achievment for three hours of getting to know someone, just imagine how he would be in a relationship…

Bottomline: He was a psychopath. There were signs before, which I didn’t fully interpret. He told me earlier at dinner that his colleagues thought that he was intimidating. He also said that he doesn’t understand why people cannot be more straightforward and direct.

A good friend once said that people always show you who they are. Trust them when they do and don’t expect them to change (especially not for you).

Redflags - when you know you have to bail:

• He emotionally blackmails you and makes you feel bad
• He becomes bossy and possessive
• He is self-centered and sends the wrong vibes