Having a child is a daunting thought. Creating a family doesn't really seem to fit into our busy lifestyles and travel plans -- let alone, fit into a life of constant moving around the world...

However, the topic does creep up in our heads: It is perhaps the many friends' baby pictures popping up on our Instagram, or perhaps it is an internal debate we have with ourselves, as we get older or feel the (societal) pressure of the ticking clock.

Some of us actually don't want kids. We are single and perfectly happy with ourselves. We have loving friends and family. We do sports and eat healthy, and we excel in our careers, reaching for our dreams. Life is so so so good. All doors are open for us, and we don't require a man or a child to make us feel good - we are inherently happy with ourselves and we challenge the purpose of having to find a man, get married and have kids.

There are others amongst us that want a family. It is simply nicer to share our happiness with someone. Perhaps the thought of growing old alone is unbearable or we want to  leave a legacy  through a child. But as a freedom-seeking female, we may struggle with giving up our independence. Even if we prioritized having a family, the thought of how it impacts and changes our current lifestyle is at minimum uncomfortable.

I think, fundamentally, there is a broader question here. The archaic model of establishing marriages and having families served a very different purpose in former times, as we all know. But how does family building look like in our modern society? How does it fit into the life of a Type A Woman? In other words, what is our role in a modern family and how do we juggle with managing our careers, our side projects and hobbies and at the same time find time and energy to build a family? And perhaps most importantly, what does motherhood mean to us and what type of mothers would we want to become?

I am certain that with the responsibility of a child, our priorities will shift. But so much of what we do is also what makes us us and so the question is how can we preserve ourselves, our identity, while considering this new daunting role...

On a different note, I am in awe at what tools are available today (at varying degrees in different countries that is) for the Modern Woman to drive her own motherhood agenda.

Controlling her time with egg freezing - We may not feel we are ready in our heads, but our body clocks tick. Freezing eggs is an insurance for if now is not the right time or there is no guy on the horizon that we like as a life partner and many start-ups are now flocking into the space.

Creating her child without a man in her life - Sperm donor banks seem to be a good way to filter/build your own "dream child" while at the same time becoming independent of finding Mr. Right. Taking a look at it, there are many donor databases where you can neatly filter by hair color, eye color or race. They also provide background on the guys themselves. It seems to be as user-friendly as an e-commerce purchase on Amazon...

Co-parenting with a friend - With so many divorces arising, the happily ever after fairytale of marriage is eroding and new forms of building a family are rising up. The term "Co-parenting" -- a term that could have very much been invented by a millennial or hipster -- has gained popularity in recent years, where friends decide to have a child without a romantic tie or the pressure that comes with a marriage. Instead, there is an agreement contract settled on responsibilities of each parent before having the child. I personally find this concept very interesting and perhaps fitting in our modern lives. This way you take out the pressure of (unreal) expectations that come with a relationship or a marriage and you avoid the risk of divorce as you are anyways not together and the child does not grow up with nasty marriage fights...

Overall, I don't have a good answer for myself yet. The only thing I know for sure is that our lives have become more volatile, our desires and wishes have increased and therefore we must also (re)define what motherhood really should be today.

Thoughts?