Should you pay or not on a (first or second) date? I always feel obligated to offer at least.

After all, I earn enough, my guy friends always complain about being exploited on dates, and somehow, paying gives me a feeling of being equal.

A friend of mine provides a very different view on this: She says, men want to feel like men, it is a matter of principles. She always lets the guy pay without politely offering to chime in. She argues that it validates the guy’s Stone Age instinct of being the provider. Her advice: Be nice, smile, and say thank you after.

First, I dismissed this thought. Then it creeped back on me…We all have strong opinions and we can take care of ourselves, but hey, secretly all of us want to have a shoulder to lean on, right? By offering to pay my share on a date, I seem to signal to the guy that I can take care of myself,I am strong. I don’t need you.

What am I trying to proof with paying? Let the guy be the guy. See if he bites and if he gets grumpy about paying, well perhaps it is a sign that he is not a good future (caring) partner anyways.