The men I meet these days seem to be flawed.

They judge (“Why are you so X…”).
They are passive (“What are your plans for the weekend”, but never ask to meet).
They give up too quickly (“Oh whatever, they are other girls”).

Looking down a bit deeper, it looks like there are three reasons why someone is not in a relationship:

Self-centeredness First and foremost, these people think of and for themselves: What is in it for them? What is it that THEY don’t want and need. There is little room for another person, and there is an unwillingness to adapt to be a team.

Even entrepreneurs that are “too busy” make a subconscious choice to prioritize their work (or the prestige that comes with it) over ie. a/the relationship.

Commitment-phobia Those are folks that were hurt by a last relationship and are still chewing through the emotions. They stonewall themselves because they are scared to get hurt and are therefore not making themsevles vulnerable for something new - at times over years.

Restlessness Restlessness stems from individual motivations (desire for freedom, self-fulfillment, job opportunity, curiosity, running away from something, etc.), but both mental as well as physical restlessness make it hard to consider someone seriously.

Since the older we get, the more likely we will have had failed relationships, everyone carries a combination of the three in them. It’s extremely helpful to keep those three elements in mind when meeting a new person and to figure out what that person is working through.

Even more important though is to figure out how you fair on those three dimensions and what you should be working on, in order to be in a relationship or maintain an existing one.